Last week, I visited Puerto Rico for the first time in my life. Considering that I am a quarter Puerto Rican, I was embarrassed that it took me that long to make my first visit. For some reason, I think San Juan was prepared for me because I had enough encounters on my first night to last me the entire week.
The flight-in went well outside of the screaming baby behind us; how a baby can scream and cry for 3 hours is quite amazing. I lose my voice within 10 minutes of screaming at crappy drivers on the way to work most mornings. After we settled into the resort, we thought it would be a good idea to check out the surrounding area and see what San Juan had to offer. Here is where my trifecta begins…
Once we took the elevator down into the lobby, the bright lights of the casino which was attached to the resort caught our attention. Although I’m not a big gambler by any means, I figured it couldn’t hurt to take a look; I was curious. Within three steps of entering the casino, I was greeted by a walkie talkie blazer man, who instructed me to follow him. Totally clueless, I did so. While on the way to my unknown destination, he mentioned that I looked similar to a person that had robbed the casino recently and they wanted to take my photograph prior to me continuing within the casino. After telling him that I just arrived and would spend maybe $1.75 in his casino all week, he insisted that I had to get photographed before I moved on with my evening. Part one of trifecta, check.
As we made our way out of the casino and from my photo shoot, we grabbed a quick bite to eat across the street. Delicious! Nothing like Puerto Rican food in Puerto Rico. There are tons of Bodegas here in my town, but nothing compares to what I experienced during my stay, truly tremendous. I digress, as we were leaving the restaurant, we noticed another resort down the road that had bright lights on the rooftop which seemed to host a bar/party atmosphere. It was pretty early in the night, and I was still in a curious mood regardless of my photograph probably on its way to every police station in San Juan at the moment. We found our way into the resort and took the elevator to the top. It was a pretty crazy place! Music was great, there were a lot of people dancing, they even had a bucking bronco! Best part of it all (or so I thought) was that they had pretty decent beer specials; a huge picture of beer for $10. I just had to have one. Since I was stone sober when I arrived, I was putting the beer down fairly quickly. Within 5 minutes, I was on my third cup refill and pretty happy about our diamond in the rough find. It was probably when I started to smile or felt that my night was turning for the better when my cup slipped out of my hand and my beer went all over the bar and myself. Although I did a fairly good job of cleaning the mess up and steering the beer away from soaking others, the bartender, whom up to this point in time had not spoken a word of English to anyone said to me; “your cut-off”. I replied with a “really?” and was honestly too in awe to really comprehend being cut-off for the first time in my life. That is a big statement considering I have had some bar nights where I couldn’t open my eyes any longer and I still didn’t get cut-off. Then again, I was in the continental United States I suppose, and not recently photographed for possible espionage. Part two of trifecta, check.
Down on my spirits, I made a quick exit and wanted nothing more than a nice shower back at the resort to regroup and get a early mornings start. Upon getting off of the elevator and into the lobby of this other resort however, we noticed that the vibe had totally changed. Everyone was dressed nice and they had a really good salsa band playing. Apparently, we snuck our way into a very swank and expensive resort which prides itself in having the best live music in all of San Juan. Once again, thinking that my luck took a turn for the better, I moved in a little closer to hear the band and to watch some of the couples dance. I always admired older couples that can tear it up on the dance floor, especially to a nice Salsa. Long story short, my second walkie talkie blazer man came to meet me and told me very nicely that my Corona hat, t-shirt, camo shorts, and flip-flops weren’t within the dress code and he needed me to leave. I almost cried. Part three of trifecta, check.
So yes, things could have gone much worse, but I had my fill from one lazy night in San Juan. The next morning, things did actually take a turn for the better, we had a terrific time. Considering we were supposed to get hit by Hurricane Bill the entire stay and turned out getting maybe 5 minutes of rain throughout our stay is quite impressive. If you haven’t visited Puerto Rico yet, I highly recommend. Just don’t hang out with me in their Casinos, bars, or dance clubs.
Thanks for reading,
-Rob
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